Twit FM is the one radio channel for all your needs. Our station is looking back on a rich tradition of far more than 24 months and, since it started in the wonderful year of 2006, has brought entertainment and education in every househould of our fair, fair country.
Long story short, this audio play series might well be one of the most disgusting, most insulting, and generally worst things to disgrace the human race. Several teenagers put into one room maybe bad, but giving them a microphone and the cheapest audio editing is software there makes this abominable caricature of creative output even worse.
Saxonian Fairy Tales
Old fairy tales find a new interpretation with lots of improvisation and lots of improvements. A friendly narrator with a thick Saxonian accent guides us through the wonderful tales that barely have anything to do with their originals.
Little Red Riding Hood
The boring fart Red Riding Hood has been told to carry a basket full of food to her granny. On her way, she meets Wolfgang. Will she be able to resist his charms an cheap plastic flowers?
Rumpelstiltskin
In a land far, far away, there is a small windmill standing by the riverside. Inside, its owner is running a small tattoo studio. Sadly, he has recently lost a game of online poker on Pokerstars.faraway. Against the king, no less! Now, he is in great debt and hence in a great deal of trouble
To prevent his windmill from getting executed by being shot, he strikes a deal with the king: He gives him his numbskull of a daughter and promises she can spin crap into gold. Of course, she can’t really do that. But luckily, she is being helped by the famous Rapper MC Stiltskin …
The Adventures of Inspector Smith
Thrilling detective stories await our listeners in this series of crime and sin, where we wade deep into the darkest side of humanity. Nevertheless, our shining protagonist Inspector Smith always finds a culprit; no matter if they're innocent or not!
Murder at Seaside Avenue!
Inspector Smith is called to a crime scene with, gasp! a dead body! And it’s even missing its head! The question at hand is, of course, whodunit? Maybe it was the victim’s wife? Or maybe, it was Inspector Smith’s arch-nemesis, Prof. Dr. Dr. Evil? Tune in to find out!
Resident Paul
Inspector Smith is investigating in an all-new, bite-your-nails thrilling case! Today’s body’s special feature is a scarily large bite mark. To be exact, nothing but the arm is left.
As if things couldn’t get any worse, Inspector Smit gets sucked into a video game on his search for the murderer! With no one to trust but his trusty trail of blood and a whispering plastic bag, he embarks on an adventure he was never prepared for.
Murder Between Two Halls
Tune in to this extra-super-amazing 30-minute feature-length adventure of Inspector Smith! During last night’s Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart Memorial Ball, a poor fellow suddenly suffocated. Inside his throat, the police finds a … frog! Maybe, the owner of next door’s Heavy Metal Dance Hall, “The Frog”, has got something to do with it …
Staccato Stuttering
Inspector Smi-Smi-Smith, the stuttering guardian of the law, has been transferred into a one-horse town. On his way there, he encounters winners, trains, and, on the side, solves a murder case that he wasn’t even responsible for.
This is the first episode of Twit FM season two!
Twit News
All the news there is from all around the world. Usually at eight.
News of May 23 2007
- Horrifying news from the country of Khakistan
- Travel report from Butterfeld
- Weather forecast with Bernd
- Traffic messages
News of May 23 2008
- Catastrophic developments in a kindergarten near Hessia
- Twit FM gets exported the the USA
- Bertram Hits It Big
- Sports News, sponsored by Punch It!, the boxing association
- Live news from a kindergarten near Hessia, by Wolfgang Wolfram
- Lifestyle Magazin, sponsored by OWL Glues.
The Morning Talk Show Hosted by – me!
In this series, we sit together, even less prepared than usually, and talk about deep topics. Like how its bad for your teeth to chew lollipops.
Prof. Dr. Dr. Evil
Today’s guest is the honorable Prof. Dr. Dr. Evil. He tells us about the origins of his his charity work and what expects people interested in studies in the field of sadism and torture.
Also during the show, we raffle three copies of his upcoming autobiography, Muhahahaha.
Holger von Wienerstein
Our guest host, Helmut Kohl, Mr. X
welcomes Holger von Wienerstein, a high-ranking member
of the Nationalist Twit Party. They talk about the party’s
new manifesto and candy.
American Talk
To expand the reach of our show, this episode is being broadcast in a bad German-English mix. Our guests are Helmut Bush and Mary.
Snoop God
For the last episode of Twit FM’s first season, we have invited a true god among talk show guests: God! And not only that; our listeners also get the incredibly rare opportunity to listen to me eating potato chips! Don’t miss out on the greatest talk show there ever was!
Paratalk
No.
Twitland Shopping 24
Twit FM now has its very own homeshopping program! The reason at hand is that we care about our audience, we want to give them as much convenience as possible, and we really need the money.
Everything a Man Could Need
Our guest, Torsten Nosea, shows us lots of helpful products for all the men out there who are suffering terribly from genetic gonadic inflation.
Everything a Terrorist Could Need
Torsten Nosea presents all the little helpers you need when you’re an abductor, a hostage-taker, or a terrorist in general.
Also, we can proudly present a new episode of Cooking with Toiletpaper, featuring everyone’s favorite chef, Theodore Toiletpaper.
Everything a Fanatic Could Need
Topics of this episode are religion, conspiracies, and fruit punch.
Hildegard: Follow Your Unstable Emotions
Wait, what?
Andrew and Andrea
No.
Knut the Knice Custodian
This has never happened.
Commercials on Twit FM
What it says on the tin.
First Break
- Wowmit Beer
- Goo Gurt
- Granny’s Ginger Bread
- Cough Sweets
Second Break
More cheap puns on the names of product well-known in Germany. Translating these would be worthwile neither for me nor for you.
Miscellaneous
Various shorts that never managed to get a second episode.
Just Barely Almost Believable: Fact or Fiction
Jonas the Freak presents almost five, almost unbelievable stories of ordinary people who encounter things that are just slightly less ordinary. Our dear listeners are encouraged to guess which of these stories are fiction, and which have truly happened.
Judge Judy Cial
Prosecutor Edge Milesworth has stolen a lollipop from the judge’s daughter, Superfi Cial. Nobody seems to be wondering about how he’s sitting both behind the defense’s and the prosecutor‘s table.
MUCAGBU!
The Magazine for the Under-Challenged and Generally Bored Unemployed is an afternoon journal serial thingamagick that discusses the truly important topics. Like celebrity hair cuts and blind dates.
Twit FM Mystery
Parodizing an overly-dramatical mystery/edutainment show, our host follows the leads and hints the Illuminati have hidden in seemingly ordinary nursery rhymes